I Am That I Am

I am the patron saint of doubts and misgivings
I am the quintessential consequence of living
I am the epitome of significant mistakes
I am dead dry leaves, gather up your rakes
I am a freshly brewed batch of neurosis
I am a poison prescription — 10,000 doses
I am the ruckus result of an atom bomb
I am the greatest disappointment of any mom
I am a famine amid a bumper crop year
I am your darkest nightmare, your worst fear
I am an alien with no purpose or meaning
I am an asteroid, through your atmosphere careening
I am a cause just waiting to be lost
I am a late spring, flower-killing frost
I am toilet paper stuck to your shoe
I am the embarrassment of humanity, in plain view
I am the anchor point of all that has gone wrong
I am a sad, sad, out of tune song
I am summed up by “Let’s not even go there!”
I am the conductor of a train going nowhere
I am all that; and a bag of stale chips