I Strive

Failure, man. Damn
Thought I was okay with it
With the unexpected, changes, conflict
Misguiding and misdirects, shortcomings

Guess not

Why does it feel like those things are all I am

I don’t get many opportunities
To show the people I want to care about how important they are
How important the earth is
How important the coincidental synergy of the two are
In the natural context
I doth most oft make my travels alone
Companionship is about as rare as a rainbow
So when I do have that chance afforded me
I find inner pressure to prove my adequacy
As if it were my job to emphasize a magic
That I scarcely believe myself most times
What is it about the shared human experience
That holds such vicious and timeless gravity
And what then, to make of its contrast, independence
Fine lines and wide swaths of gray area
And amidst both everything and nothing
All is striving, save for simple rest

I strive for nonexistent perfection
I strive for proof I am adequate
I strive to be known and even liked
I strive to be memorable
I strive to pre-eliminate losses and minimize risks
I strive to fit comfortable somewhere on this planet
I strive to mitigate mistakes
I strive for loving relationship
I strive for something more than being alive
Right now, I strive to drink more coffee

I simply rest….barely
No time for that, I’m too busy striving

How to devalue strivation. And revalue rest